I went to my first Okinawan wedding on Saturday, August 22nd. It was Jin sensei, a 4th grade teacher at Chinen Shogakko, who was to be married (to another teacher from Kanegusuku Chu). He is a very genki and fun teacher who moved here from Kyushu about 2 years ago. He is one of the more personable teachers at Chinen Sho. I will add here that he’s worn a wedding ring since I met him in April, even though his actual wedding hadn’t taken place yet. He did mention one day the paperwork was done and that he wore the ring to ward off single girls.
My experience at his wedding was not one I will soon forget! Here is everything I remember:
The invitation said that guests could arrive at 12:30 and that the wedding started at 1. I arrived at 12:45. Okinawan weddings cost 1man yen to attend (approximately 100 dollars) and there is a certain way you have to present this money. I asked another JET how to do it and she gave me the very specific details which involved where to sign your name, making sure the money was face up in the envelope, how the knot ends on the envelope must face and which kind of card/envelope to buy (since it was in hiragana and kanji). The night before, I had found the right envelope and I brought it and the money to the wedding hoping to see one of my teachers so I could ask how the money could go face up in an envelope that opened at one of the long ends, but since there were no teachers outside, I walked up to the nicest looking sign-in table person standing there- a youngish girl. She helped me sign in (the guestbooks were all being written in in kanji as well), and helped me put the money in the envelope and sign the paper that came out at the bottom of the ribbons tied in front. After this first task was finished, another teacher spotted me and we walked into the grand hall together. She spoke briefly to the attendants at the door and then we walked over to the tables to find our seats. We looked on the table most Chinen teachers were at, my name wasn’t there. We looked at the table where some other Chinen teachers were sitting, also not there. The teachers (in a slight panic but remaining perfectly Japanese) told me to wait a moment while they found my name. Finally, at the 4th table they checked, the found my name so I took my seat next to a man I’d never seen before. I really hoped somebody I knew would sit next to me. Takaiyo sensei was not there yet, so at least she could be sitting next to me. It didn’t take long for me to look around and realize I was the only foreigner there…. The dress I had on was appropriate, something I’d worried about while shopping for it, but I could have worn a shawl to cover my shoulders/upper arms. I saw that only I, another teacher from Chinen, and a young woman had bare shoulders among the 200 guests. The other teachers from Chinen arrived at the table- the two special ed aides and the special ed teacher. There was beer, tea, and juice set out on the tables. There were also programs and cards giving directions and the time for the after party as well. The man sitting next to me offered me some juice, probably because I was coughing a lot. Just before 1:00, Takaiyo arrived (in a long evening gown covered in lace overlays and sequins and fake press on nails) and took the seat next to me. She was likely overdressed for this event, but I was glad to have her there to translate some things.
Just after 1, the event started with a speech by Jin’s father and a performance of traditional Okinawan dancing. I started thinking that Ollie was right, he had mentioned that Okinawan weddings were very long and involved performances and several outfit changes. After this performance, an announcement was made and the bride and the groom entered the room in traditional wedding Japanese dress. Kyoko san was wearing a Kimono and Jin was wearing a robe. They walked around the room and smiled at their guests. Then they went up on a platform on the other side of the room and stood while something was said. After a few moments, they bride and groom made their exit to change into outfit number 2- the typical wedding attire we westerners are accustomed to. After they left, the videos some teachers at Chinen made were played. Jin sensei’s students congratulated him by saying “Omedetou Gozaimasu” and doing little songs and dances. His students are some of my favorite in the school, so watching the videos was fun for me too. After the students did their bit, there were two more videos. One video was a series of photos and short clips of video over a song that said “Jin” a lot in it. I was featured in the video twice so that was cool, but you can’t see my face because I have a rabbit mask and ears on. There was some really funny parts in the video like Tatsuya sensei dressed up in a pink full body suit with a tutu. The last video played from our school was one a couple of teachers made to go with a slow song. They wore a Jin sensei mask (also in the other video) and a Jin sensei mask they added long hair and rosy cheeks to for Kyoko san, and acted out the courtship of the couple. Apparently he proposed to her in the mall parking lot. It was cute. After our videos were played, videos Kyoko san’s students made were played. The weird part about these videos is that neither the bride nor the groom were watching these videos, since they were changing. After the videos ended, Kyoko’s school staff performed a dance (meant to be funny) on stage. After the dancing, it was announced that Jin sensei and Kyoko were going to enter again, this time on the stage. Everyone looked up toward the stage while the house lights were off, disco lights twirled, and music played. . . The curtain finally went up and Jin and his bride were standing on stage. She had a bouquet, and he did too. In the center of his bouquet was a long torch-like candle. Immediately, I thought this was weird, but realized quickly that there were candles on each table and where this was going. Sure enough he walked around the room, bride on his arm, lighting everyone’s candles. When they got to the three tables Chinen sho teachers were sitting at, we stood, yelled “Omedetou Gozaimasu!” and popped poppers at them. I’m not sure if it was the safest thing to be combining flame and flying paper streamers, but nobody got burned so it was ok. A drunk Takeshima sensei was also blowing bubbles at them when they were near his table. After all the tables had their candles lit, Jin used his torch to light the big heart candelabra at the other end of the room. Just after this the couple cut their cake. The cake had been sitting at the side of the room opposite the stage since the beginning and was pretty impressive. There were 3 tiers, the top two were situated on long arms that swept out from the middle so each layer hovered above the next. I remember them cutting, but not eating the cake, which leads me to believe the top two impressive layers were not real cake at all. We had cakes served at our table, but the cake they cut was never served. After the cakes were served, they received presents from their guests who made short speeches to the bride and groom. Then both the kocho senseis from each of their schools gave speeches. After these speeches, the bride and groom left to change into their third outfits, and as soon as they left some family members performed a dance to a popular television show. The highlight of this number were the three tiny children in the front. They were ages 2-5 and were so perfectly adorable. The funny thing was that the adults were following the lead of these youngsters in performing the dance. I excused myself for the restroom, but missed a number performed by three girls(?) in silver sequin dresses with wigs and silver sequin gloves on. I think this song was another from a television show, but I’m not sure. After this, the bride and groom came back, but only she was wearing a new dress, a blue frilly thing, while Jin had the same cream tux on. They took their seats on the side opposite the stage and then a troupe performed Eisa on the stage. After this performance Kenichi sensei ran up onstage with a monkey mask on (one he wore in the video) and started dancing. The bride and groom went up on stage to dance and everyone was invited on stage to dance kachashi (another Okinawan dance where you just move your hands above you, much like the dance people were doing at our friend Hamid’s wedding- he’s from Afghanistan). I went too. This only lasted for one song, but it was enough time for Tatsuya sensei to put a napkin in his pants inappropriately placed and dance around small children. Very interesting. The group threw Jin up in the air several times during this song. Then everyone returned to their seats for the final act. The last time the curtain went up, the newlyweds were standing there holding teddy bears. Weird, right? They walked past all the tables to the other side of the room. I thought perhaps they were going to give them to the youngsters that performed earlier, but instead, their parents were sitting across the room and the two approached with the bears. I assume that each the bride and groom presented the bears with gratitude for raising them and all that stuff. As the bride was making her speech to her mother (not sure what happened to her father) Takaiyo sensei said to me, “That bear has the same weight as Kyoko’s bones.” ----What? I’m still not sure what that meant. This was probably the strangest part of the whole ceremony/reception. It was both combined into one 2 hour extravaganza. During the whole event food was served in courses. Some plated individually and some set family style on the table. It was interesting. The event was so staged, every time the bride and groom entered or left, the lights would go down, a spotlight would shine on them and music and lights would go. When the curtain went up and they were on stage, bubbles would drop, fog would roll out, and the same lights and music would go. The weddings was somewhere between a real wedding, a disco, and a variety show. Having said that, I enjoyed my time there and am glad Jin sensei had the courage to invite me to his wedding!
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